Anxiety Issues vs Normal Issues

14 06.Jun.2014

I have a few Anxiety issues, they totally suck and make me over-think everything to a ridiculous point. They make me sometimes over or undershare depending on the situation. It’s really hard to explain, so here are a few situations on what someone with anxiety issues goes through, or what they’d go through if they were ‘normal’.

To tell you the truth, it’s exorsting.

Calling in sick for work

Normal Person

08:30Oh man, I’m feeling like shit.
09:00Sorry, I can’t make it in today

Anxiety Person

08:30 Oh man, I’m feeling like shit
08:31 I had a cough last year, I hope they don’t think I’m faking it
08:32 I’m supposed to be meeting Billy Bob about these TPS reports at 11, maybe I could go home early after that?
08:33 If I wikipedia my symptons, I’m going to get throat-aids. I won’t do that.
08:40 OK, I’ll have a shower, then I’ll feel better. They won’t mind if I’m late.
08:50 That shower cleared up my lungs, maybe I was faking it
08:55 That flemb didn’t look good… ok, I’m doing this, I’m calling in sick.
09:01 SHIT, I left it too late to call in, they’ll think I’m faking it if I don’t call in in time.
09:03 OK, you pussyole, just call in, what’s the worst they can do, they can’t sack you.
09:05 Hi, I can’t make it in today. Last night I had fish and chips and I think the flakes of the fish got caught in my throat and it’s making me really phlemby. My mum says that I’ll be OK and that it’s nothing, and I don’t want to worry the doctor, but I’m afraid if you don’t mind I hope it’s OK if I could possibly maybe have the day off to recover

Ok, will do, you too. Love you. Ok. Bye.

09:06Did I just tell my manager I love him? You too? What the fuck is up with that.
09:31 I bet they’re thinking of me on the couch watching Lorain Kelly and eating cocopops thinking to themselves “Whenever PP has a cough, he also I happens to have a new packet of cocopops, that cravendale milk AND Lorian Kelly is on the TV… Blaaaa-tent fake. Why can’t he just admit that he just wants a day off for no reason? I can’t believe we’re paying for this guy.”.
09:45 “I knew I shouldn’t have gone on Wikipedia”.

Sending an email

Normal Person

Billy Bob,

I’m afraid I won’t be able to make today’s meeting about the TPS Report at 11. Could we please reschedule for a few day’s time?


- Pauly Pops

Anxiety Person

Hay, Yo, Dear, ‘sup, Salutations B’dawg, Double Be, B-Man, Mister Jaygamiesta Billy,

How are you doing? I hope the wife and kids are well. Did you see the result last weekend when the football team scored a goal? That was definatly a good goal.

Last night for supper I had fish and chips, and at first i thought that I had some fish flakes stuck in my throat, you know, the back bit that is tickly. But when I woke up this morning I was still coughing, so i’m afraid I hope you don’t mind that I can’t quite make the TPS meeting today at 11. Believe me, i’d rather be there than be at home eating Cocopops (with cravendal milk) and watching lorain kelly. I’m still in my dressing gown.

I hope that’s ok with you.

Regards, Kind Regards, Cheers, Thanks, Thx, Keep it real, Safe, With the most upmost respect.

- Pauly Pops

Choosing what to have for dinner.

Normal Person

I shall make myself a Steak with a jacket potato and a side salad.

Anxiety Person

I’ve had 3 take aways this week, one of them I only ate half of because I wanted to make up the minimum order, so tonight I really should make something. In the freezer I have a really nice Rib Eye, it was on special offer from ASDA, two for £6. I’m definatly going to have that.

I really fancy a Sweet’n'Sour though, with some rice and soup, but the last 3 chineses I tried were horrible, I could barely eat them. My blood sugars were a bit high this week, so maybe it’s best I stick to the steak idea. I’ve already defrosted it anyway. Maybe the Chinese was having an off-day. Probably ran out of cravendale milk for his cocopops, so decided to go into work anyway. I got an idea…

on Just-Eat.

Not Chinese, blood sugars are too high. How about some Thai? Thai is good. Ok, what has a minimum order of £10. Ok, i’ll have this’n'this’n'this. Lovely. Oh wait, noodles AND rice? I don’t really want that. I’ll just have the noodles, but then the ribs don’t go with it, so i’ll change that around. This’ll be my 4th take away this week. You fat lazy fuck, what a wasteful over privaliaged bastard you are, that steak will be no good tommorow. Just have that.

Ok, I’ll do the steak, and go to the shops to get a jacket potato.

At the shops

Fuck, I don’t want a whole bag of potatoes, I only want one. Why can’t I just buy one or two? Ohhh, blue cheese, I could do a blue cheese sauce with it. I’ll get some cream. OH OH OH , that’ll also do me for desert, strawberries and cream. I could shave some chocolate over it. That would be well nice. Why shouldn’t I have a take away, it’s my money, I work hard, I work really hard, I deserve a take away. I’m putting everything back.

Back on Just Eat
Thai isn’t too healthy really, I should eat more healthy. How about a kabab, a proper one, that’s healthy. The nice kabab place is £15 minimum order though and my kabab only costs £8. I don’t want chips with it, and I always leave the sides. Maybe I should just make something.

45 minutes later – on the sofa
God damn I love coco pops and cravendel milk.

Deciding on what to do on a weekend

Normal Person

I fancy some Thai and a few pints. Tony always goes heavy, but I reckon if there are just a few of us, we’ll be alright.

MeTony, fancy doing something?
TonyLet’s hit a club
MeI’m knackered, let’s just get a bite. Nothing Heavy.
TonyGreen Dragon?
MeSafe, see you there at 7.

Anxiety Person

I don’t really care what we do, I just want to see some mates. Maybe we can get a bite, Tony likes spicy food while Rupes likes really plain food. Thai is a good mix. I hope they don’t suggest Indian, really can’t be having with that. It’s a Friday so I take some weekly tablets, they make me really tired. I just want a quiet one. I’ll suggest somewhere with food rather than drink, because I don’t want to drink. I bet Tony wants to really kick off though, really I want to be in bed by 10.

MeTony, you slag, how’s the rash?
TonyHaha, not as bad as yours
MeWant to get a bite to eat?
TonyYeah’, how about some Indian
MeOK, but only if I can have a vindaloo and phal.
TonyCrazy guy, see you at 7

5 minutes later

MeSorry, can’t make it now, see you next week instead.

5 minutes later

double you double you double you dot just dash eat dot com.

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